I believe there's a hero in all of us, that keeps us honest, gives us strength, makes us noble. And finally gets us to die with pride. Even though sometimes we have to be steady and give up the thing we want most, even our dreams.
-- Spiderman 2
i was watching, yeah, spiderman on tv last night. i was a bit surprised that the last time i watched it, i didn't think it was really that good. it is after all, a typical super hero plot. but somehow, it held more meaning to me this time. i guess like many other things, for example books or songs, when you come back to the same one after years and you've grown up in some way or another, you realise the worth and beauty for certain things you used to fail to notice. yes, like spiderman.
we all know the story of spiderman and in fact, many other fiction heroes. we enjoy envisioning super heroes, with all their invisibilities; physical, emotional and mental. we take pleasure in forgetting that they too, are with feelings, responsibilities and concerns. that leaves us with all the right to blame them for any "mishap" or "mistake" that takes place in our lives.
and that, is sometimes, the way we tend to treat our sole Saviour, our loved ones and those we look up to.
from another perspective, it is also true that sometimes we have to be steady and give up the thing we want most, even our dreams. maybe in another word, it can just be summed up as sacrifice. sacrifices make the world go 'round. i read before somewhere, that everything is a sacrifice. we just don't realise it. for example, when we choose to switch on the computer, we sacrifice the time to sleep. or when we choose to sleep, we sacrifice the time to socialise. a chain reaction, almost.
and these few days, i've tasted a shred of what sacrifice is. sure, we make sacrifices all the time. we'd stoop down to help a friend carry a load, we'd help wash the dishes, we'd stay up to listen to a complaint. but these are almost (for some people) automatic reactions, out of love and rather instantaneous. but what about sacrifices which we can see are bound to lead to hardships and require us to do something we truly dread. what would we not give to avoid such occasions? however, at times, it isn't about our choice really, rather about doing what the heart says is right.
it's so convenient at times to throw a tantrum, to pout, to ignore, to complain, to compare, to sneer. but let's take it like Peter Parker. be angry at it, but momentarily, then embrace it if you must.
should i have done things my way, i would've easily chosen the easier and more enjoyable route. it would have been so easy. it would have been what i wanted. it would have been a joy. but somehow i don't think it right.
and i guess, all in all, i'm still glad.
and you begin to realise, maybe it isn't so bad after all. and you smile, though a forced one at first, you'll get the hang of it.
it's part of what i've learnt this Advent season.
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Monday, December 21, 2009
stuff
i'm actually a bit too lazy and lost for words to post anything up here but i decided that i should. for those who're wondering, if any, what life's like now..i'll talk a little about that. it's only been more than two weeks since form 5 life officially ended for most of us, but i feel like it's been ages. been ages since we sat at the canteen at every interval, cracking dirty jokes and going through revision together. been ages since we stayed up at nights and sent text messages of complaints to one another; "why can't the reproductive system of humans be simpler?" "why can't the earth be anything else but sphere?". been ages since we sat in starbucks, supposedly doing revision together. it's just been ages and maybe i won't say i miss all that just yet, but something sure is missing.
in reality, if one even think about it, it is quite ironic. if you were not leaving school, you would be embracing and having fun during this holiday. you rarely reminisce. you look forward to the new school term. but when you're in form five, it's just the knowledge that you won't ever step into the school ground in identical terms anymore. no more fighting over food, no more gathering the mob against teachers, no more answering back, no more doing stupid things, no more cam whoring, no more complaining about addmath, no more sleeping in class; the usual drill.
that is just a word or two about school-less days.
anyway, on a lighter note, i've been filling up my time quite satisfactorily i'd think.
i've fallen into some sorta temporary routine. if i woke up early in the morning, i'd go for breakfast with my family. if i woke up late, it's probably lunch at home. in the afternoons, i'd probably be on the computer or catching up with whoever asked me out. in the evenings, i'm probably out caroling. in between, i've also finished reading a literature book; To Kill a Mockingbird and am still leisurely reading through a book on confession (thanks j) and another on the theology of the body (thanks evelyn). i've also cleared only half of the junk (meaning, text books and academic materials) i've gathered through the years.
and that, folks, have been what life's been like.
there's the trip down to santubong of course, but there isn't really much about that to talk about. and also sending off an old friend (what, 11 years??) at the airport. in retrospect, it is quite amazing for anyone to withstand my eccentricities for 11 years. it was weird to say goodbye to a friend as if you won't ever meet again, but i guess i should get used to it, surely there'll be more going off.
on another aspect, Christmas is a little different this year. besides the strange dryness that seems to befall many people, we've failed to put up the christmas tree and decorations. however, i quite like the idea of a quiet Christmas and just going to Mass like anyone else.
planning ahead, when things have settled down more and i would be more free after new year, i guess i'd learn to cook and bake, catch up on the movies i've missed, read all the books i've been eying, catch up with anybody and everybody and do whatever looks promising.
some side thoughts...
why do people take pleasure in pulling others down and laughing at their shortcomings? does it make us feel that we're above them? why talk behind others' back rather than tell them straight in the face? does that provide us with a sense of security? if so, doesn't that only show that we're inferior, needing others to confirm the misgivings of others as well?
a mistake i keep repeating, but trying to avoid nonetheless. i hope you're doing the same.
in reality, if one even think about it, it is quite ironic. if you were not leaving school, you would be embracing and having fun during this holiday. you rarely reminisce. you look forward to the new school term. but when you're in form five, it's just the knowledge that you won't ever step into the school ground in identical terms anymore. no more fighting over food, no more gathering the mob against teachers, no more answering back, no more doing stupid things, no more cam whoring, no more complaining about addmath, no more sleeping in class; the usual drill.
that is just a word or two about school-less days.
anyway, on a lighter note, i've been filling up my time quite satisfactorily i'd think.
i've fallen into some sorta temporary routine. if i woke up early in the morning, i'd go for breakfast with my family. if i woke up late, it's probably lunch at home. in the afternoons, i'd probably be on the computer or catching up with whoever asked me out. in the evenings, i'm probably out caroling. in between, i've also finished reading a literature book; To Kill a Mockingbird and am still leisurely reading through a book on confession (thanks j) and another on the theology of the body (thanks evelyn). i've also cleared only half of the junk (meaning, text books and academic materials) i've gathered through the years.
and that, folks, have been what life's been like.
there's the trip down to santubong of course, but there isn't really much about that to talk about. and also sending off an old friend (what, 11 years??) at the airport. in retrospect, it is quite amazing for anyone to withstand my eccentricities for 11 years. it was weird to say goodbye to a friend as if you won't ever meet again, but i guess i should get used to it, surely there'll be more going off.
on another aspect, Christmas is a little different this year. besides the strange dryness that seems to befall many people, we've failed to put up the christmas tree and decorations. however, i quite like the idea of a quiet Christmas and just going to Mass like anyone else.
planning ahead, when things have settled down more and i would be more free after new year, i guess i'd learn to cook and bake, catch up on the movies i've missed, read all the books i've been eying, catch up with anybody and everybody and do whatever looks promising.
some side thoughts...
why do people take pleasure in pulling others down and laughing at their shortcomings? does it make us feel that we're above them? why talk behind others' back rather than tell them straight in the face? does that provide us with a sense of security? if so, doesn't that only show that we're inferior, needing others to confirm the misgivings of others as well?
a mistake i keep repeating, but trying to avoid nonetheless. i hope you're doing the same.
Monday, November 30, 2009
Random Talk.
1. I miss the beach.
2. Oh, Advent.
3. I hope the end of the exams'll be flanked (this word kept popping up in the Biology textbook) with pouring of rain. Want the rainy seasons to come.
4. Contrary to what i first thought i'd do on the last day of exam, i won't celebrate with a loud yell or run amok because that'll just give exams too much significance. Instead, i'll just be secretly glad it's over and i can say: well i've done what i can up to here, what's next in life?
5. Isn't it funny that from now onwards, i can no longer start my conversations with "Today, in, school, i..." or "The teacher got mad cause..." or even post an entry on my blog under the label "School"?
6. I wanna become less dependent on facebook!!! It's turning into a habit to log in. It's a habit turning into dependency and habits provide comfort and comfort provides familiarity and familiarity breeds fear.
Okay, i'll stop the exaggeration here. I know, i know, it's JUST facebook!
7. If i wanna make a person feel better and do all i can to make them see again, does that make me a compassionate or a patronizing person? If i asked "how are you? are you okay?" does that make me an inquisitive person or a sensitive and concerned friend? Where do we draw the line?
8. I wanted to tell you what's disturbing me, but you beat me to the punch, all the time and so i changed my mind.
9. Hey, you! (anybody laaa) Wanna go to the movies??!!
10. Needa restock on coffee!
11. "If you ask me now, how do i feel, honestly, i feel the same." --Fr Adrian Kho
12. This is a season of changes, here and there, everywhere, it seems.. Unlike before, i'm gonna face them as optimistically as i can; the coming and going of dear ones, changing events and habits. If i despaired over a farewell, doesn't that only show my lack of faith in the communion and friendship??
13. Nucleus is "Nukleus" in Bahasa, Vesicle is "Vesikel", Mitochondrion is "Mitokondrion", Chromosome is "Kromosom", Smooth Endoplasmic Reticulum is "Retikulum Endoplasma Licin" and my favourite; Golgi Apparatus is called "Jasad Golgi"! hahahahhahha;)) seriously, what's the difference in implementing English or Bahasa as the teaching language in Science and Math!!
I don't see any difference, do ya?
14. I'm craving pineapple tart, curry puff and siew pau :S
15. There's beauty in birth and death which words cannot explain.
16. This is it! THE season! ya dee ya dee yaaa. (after i go for my confession :S)
17. Sleepy and hungry now. Bye.
2. Oh, Advent.
3. I hope the end of the exams'll be flanked (this word kept popping up in the Biology textbook) with pouring of rain. Want the rainy seasons to come.
4. Contrary to what i first thought i'd do on the last day of exam, i won't celebrate with a loud yell or run amok because that'll just give exams too much significance. Instead, i'll just be secretly glad it's over and i can say: well i've done what i can up to here, what's next in life?
5. Isn't it funny that from now onwards, i can no longer start my conversations with "Today, in, school, i..." or "The teacher got mad cause..." or even post an entry on my blog under the label "School"?
6. I wanna become less dependent on facebook!!! It's turning into a habit to log in. It's a habit turning into dependency and habits provide comfort and comfort provides familiarity and familiarity breeds fear.
Okay, i'll stop the exaggeration here. I know, i know, it's JUST facebook!
7. If i wanna make a person feel better and do all i can to make them see again, does that make me a compassionate or a patronizing person? If i asked "how are you? are you okay?" does that make me an inquisitive person or a sensitive and concerned friend? Where do we draw the line?
8. I wanted to tell you what's disturbing me, but you beat me to the punch, all the time and so i changed my mind.
9. Hey, you! (anybody laaa) Wanna go to the movies??!!
10. Needa restock on coffee!
11. "If you ask me now, how do i feel, honestly, i feel the same." --Fr Adrian Kho
12. This is a season of changes, here and there, everywhere, it seems.. Unlike before, i'm gonna face them as optimistically as i can; the coming and going of dear ones, changing events and habits. If i despaired over a farewell, doesn't that only show my lack of faith in the communion and friendship??
13. Nucleus is "Nukleus" in Bahasa, Vesicle is "Vesikel", Mitochondrion is "Mitokondrion", Chromosome is "Kromosom", Smooth Endoplasmic Reticulum is "Retikulum Endoplasma Licin" and my favourite; Golgi Apparatus is called "Jasad Golgi"! hahahahhahha;)) seriously, what's the difference in implementing English or Bahasa as the teaching language in Science and Math!!
I don't see any difference, do ya?
14. I'm craving pineapple tart, curry puff and siew pau :S
15. There's beauty in birth and death which words cannot explain.
16. This is it! THE season! ya dee ya dee yaaa. (
17. Sleepy and hungry now. Bye.
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Write.
As someone who posts thoughts, events, writings and the likes of those on the internet with relative regularity, as someone who enjoys language, harbours and collects certain materials for personal interests, i do wonder at times my motives in writing and reading.
The trend of blogging, as far as i was concerned, hit Kuching-nites about 5 years ago. That was when i first blogged. Initially, of course, i was influenced by some seniors in school and the Ocean magazine to try out blogging. So, together with Reening, who's been my longest companion in language and writing til this moment, we tried our hands at blogging.
We started posting things we found amusing, such as happenings in school and we mostly focused on writing stories (Remember we never finished anything we begun? Hehe.) It was a kid's dream, to be special, to be able to express oneself and more importantly, it was quite a trend to write back then.
And of course, the trend died out but we continued on with our blogs, reverting our writings to more mellow(emo became the trend!!!) and mature things, and going for poetry more.
However, for the last two years, it came back into fashion and people i never expected would even hold a pen started blogging. In the course of those blogging years, i've opened and closed down about four blogging accounts all together, each time questioning my own motives and each time changing my writing style rather subtly.
What is the purpose of writing? What is the purpose of publishing one's thoughts and for some people even; very personal details of their lives on the internet, where it can be publicly accessed?
I looked back at my old posts and blogs, and noticed that the "peak" of my blogging season seems to be when i ranted and complained and made fun of people and events or wrote practically meaningless stuff. What does that prove? That people have the desire to patronize and feel better that they aren't the only ones feeling lost?
Indeed, writing even became a sorta propaganda and a "popularity gauge" as i would call it, at a certain time. And that was when i last stopped blogging. I just couldn't see the point in it; people talking about their love lives with oh-what-a-sad-life-i've-had tones on the internet, people sharing about a movie they last watched, people just posting things i simply cannot understand with words like "nabeh", "orxxx", "swts", "=.=" etc and people posting up photos.
Naturally, blogging is a form of entertainment, just like Facebook now i would think, a conduit for people to stay connected and to be kept updated. But surely, there must be more to it than that? How did people get so jaded, that such indirect contact with other souls out there become a desperation to connect?
I don't really know how to piece what i feel and think about this whole thing; it is rather confusing. Writing had always, always been around since man could do so. But it had never been such that it could be done this conveniently so. True enough, it's supposed to be a tool of expression and early men must've been desperate enough for more communication to even evolute writings.
With all these doubts and wonders, when i decided that i love writing and penning(though electronically) my thoughts down too much, i decided to try a different approach at blogging, something perhaps, which might satisfy me more. Not the number of comments, or how much my posts are being appreciated or how many views my blog gained. Those used to matter and maybe, it somehow still does, acting as a motivation, but there has to be something more important in writing for me myself; the author, rather than for my readers.
Sure, i still post up musings i think may interest or entertain people, still try to keep what i write entertaining and with-holding for readers, but this channel is becoming more of a place where i write what i want to write, no matter how strange it seems to the eyes of public.
Then why not keep a journal instead? you ask. A good question i can't really answer:) There are some things written which we might not post up for public views, of course: pieces of scribbled paper here and there but the few that we do post online, are probably to connect with people. But when that gets tiring, many people will just stop blogging, as i have seen. So, why write? Why should we write? What's its existence for?
I believe the answer for me is along those lines below, which i stumbled upon just last night:
" Now the love of wisdom in Greek is called philosophy and it was with such a desire that these writings inflamed me. Some there are who seduce by philosophy, disguising and colouring their errors with this great, pleasing and honourable name: almost all who were such, in the author's time or before, are set down and described in that book.
There also is expressed that salutary admonition of Your Spirit, which was spoken through Your good and pious servant: See to it that no one deceives you by philosophy and vain deceit, according to human traditions, according to the elements of the world and not according to Christ. For in Him dwells all the fullness of the Godhead bodily(Col 2: 8-9)"
-- Confessions of St. Augustine; Book 3, Chapter 4
And you may not get what i'm ranting about, but it doesn't matter;)
The trend of blogging, as far as i was concerned, hit Kuching-nites about 5 years ago. That was when i first blogged. Initially, of course, i was influenced by some seniors in school and the Ocean magazine to try out blogging. So, together with Reening, who's been my longest companion in language and writing til this moment, we tried our hands at blogging.
We started posting things we found amusing, such as happenings in school and we mostly focused on writing stories (Remember we never finished anything we begun? Hehe.) It was a kid's dream, to be special, to be able to express oneself and more importantly, it was quite a trend to write back then.
And of course, the trend died out but we continued on with our blogs, reverting our writings to more mellow(emo became the trend!!!) and mature things, and going for poetry more.
However, for the last two years, it came back into fashion and people i never expected would even hold a pen started blogging. In the course of those blogging years, i've opened and closed down about four blogging accounts all together, each time questioning my own motives and each time changing my writing style rather subtly.
What is the purpose of writing? What is the purpose of publishing one's thoughts and for some people even; very personal details of their lives on the internet, where it can be publicly accessed?
I looked back at my old posts and blogs, and noticed that the "peak" of my blogging season seems to be when i ranted and complained and made fun of people and events or wrote practically meaningless stuff. What does that prove? That people have the desire to patronize and feel better that they aren't the only ones feeling lost?
Indeed, writing even became a sorta propaganda and a "popularity gauge" as i would call it, at a certain time. And that was when i last stopped blogging. I just couldn't see the point in it; people talking about their love lives with oh-what-a-sad-life-i've-had tones on the internet, people sharing about a movie they last watched, people just posting things i simply cannot understand with words like "nabeh", "orxxx", "swts", "=.=" etc and people posting up photos.
Naturally, blogging is a form of entertainment, just like Facebook now i would think, a conduit for people to stay connected and to be kept updated. But surely, there must be more to it than that? How did people get so jaded, that such indirect contact with other souls out there become a desperation to connect?
I don't really know how to piece what i feel and think about this whole thing; it is rather confusing. Writing had always, always been around since man could do so. But it had never been such that it could be done this conveniently so. True enough, it's supposed to be a tool of expression and early men must've been desperate enough for more communication to even evolute writings.
With all these doubts and wonders, when i decided that i love writing and penning(though electronically) my thoughts down too much, i decided to try a different approach at blogging, something perhaps, which might satisfy me more. Not the number of comments, or how much my posts are being appreciated or how many views my blog gained. Those used to matter and maybe, it somehow still does, acting as a motivation, but there has to be something more important in writing for me myself; the author, rather than for my readers.
Sure, i still post up musings i think may interest or entertain people, still try to keep what i write entertaining and with-holding for readers, but this channel is becoming more of a place where i write what i want to write, no matter how strange it seems to the eyes of public.
Then why not keep a journal instead? you ask. A good question i can't really answer:) There are some things written which we might not post up for public views, of course: pieces of scribbled paper here and there but the few that we do post online, are probably to connect with people. But when that gets tiring, many people will just stop blogging, as i have seen. So, why write? Why should we write? What's its existence for?
I believe the answer for me is along those lines below, which i stumbled upon just last night:
" Now the love of wisdom in Greek is called philosophy and it was with such a desire that these writings inflamed me. Some there are who seduce by philosophy, disguising and colouring their errors with this great, pleasing and honourable name: almost all who were such, in the author's time or before, are set down and described in that book.
There also is expressed that salutary admonition of Your Spirit, which was spoken through Your good and pious servant: See to it that no one deceives you by philosophy and vain deceit, according to human traditions, according to the elements of the world and not according to Christ. For in Him dwells all the fullness of the Godhead bodily(Col 2: 8-9)"
-- Confessions of St. Augustine; Book 3, Chapter 4
And you may not get what i'm ranting about, but it doesn't matter;)
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Bye- Bye.
We've been together for two years, you and i.
Been through all the up's and down's.
So what is this feeling i'm having, a sort of ambivalence.
And today, we just have to finally say goodbye.
Hey, you were the only who has ever made me feel this way.
When i first met you, you were average, neither too hot nor too cold.
But then i began to realise that you were the only one who could make me jump in ecstasy when i find myself beginning to understand and know you better.
Yet, you were the one who has ever challenged me ever so intellectually, as no one had before for the first 15 years of my life.
You could leave me gasping in awe, or leave me pleading in desperation.
You made my heart beat faster.
I wanted to chill with friends, but you were always on my mind.
I wanted to relax a little, but you were there to make me stay up for you.
You were one of a kind, did you know?
But this has to end now, because you're making me tired.
Our journey together stops here, right now. And if we were bound to meet again, so be it.
But today, we must part..
And so..
I MUST SAY GOODBYE TO YOU MY DEAR ADDMATH!!!
Wheeeee!!!! Good riddance!
Been through all the up's and down's.
So what is this feeling i'm having, a sort of ambivalence.
And today, we just have to finally say goodbye.
Hey, you were the only who has ever made me feel this way.
When i first met you, you were average, neither too hot nor too cold.
But then i began to realise that you were the only one who could make me jump in ecstasy when i find myself beginning to understand and know you better.
Yet, you were the one who has ever challenged me ever so intellectually, as no one had before for the first 15 years of my life.
You could leave me gasping in awe, or leave me pleading in desperation.
You made my heart beat faster.
I wanted to chill with friends, but you were always on my mind.
I wanted to relax a little, but you were there to make me stay up for you.
You were one of a kind, did you know?
But this has to end now, because you're making me tired.
Our journey together stops here, right now. And if we were bound to meet again, so be it.
But today, we must part..
And so..
I MUST SAY GOODBYE TO YOU MY DEAR ADDMATH!!!
Monday, November 16, 2009
If Only
If Only- Holes Soundtrack
by Fiction Plane
The old man's been stealing
She's holding her grievance for a hundred-odd years
We all keep believing
That history repeats itself year after year
All I fear's that the future is worse
We have to give in to the hundred-year curse
Sweat in the sun like we're diggin' a grave
Dig deep enough and our fortune we'll save
"If only, if only," the woodpecker sighs,
"The bark on the trees was as soft as the skies,"
As the wolf waits below, hungry and lonely
He cries to the moon, "If only, if only."
Chasin' the skirt of a beautiful wife
You make mistakes and it's my back that breaks
And forever my past steals my life
To submission I'm beat but there's hope beneath these feet
Blisters and blood and the sun makes you blind
You don't let it eat 'til it can't help but be kind
'Cause you know what's important with your back to the wall
You can break metal chains when your friends don't let you fall
"If only, if only," the woodpecker sighs,
"The bark on the trees was as soft as the skies,"
As the wolf waits below, hungry and lonely
He cries to the moon, "If only, if only."
I'm a sword but I find myself blunt
And that is no use when I'm fighting my history,
Fighting my history
I have no blade, I'm more like a feather
That is no use when I'm fighting my history,
Fighting my history
I have no blade, I'm more like a feather
But I can't fly away when I'm fighting myself
"If only, if only," the woodpecker sighs,
"The bark on the trees was as soft as the skies,"
As the wolf waits below, hungry and lonely
He cries to the moon, "If only, if only."
"If only, if only," the woodpecker sighs,
"The bark on the trees was as soft as the skies,"
As the wolf waits below, hungry and lonely
He cries to the moon, "If only, if only."
If i had things my way, my loved ones would speak their minds.
If i had things my way, people would love the rain and walk in it.
If i had things my way, they won't sit with depression in the corner.
If i had things my way, i don't have to tell people how much i care yet they'll know with such conviction.
If i had things my way, smiles won't ever have to be faked.
If i had things my way, we'd see past materialistic items and non- lasting happiness.
If i had things my way, we'll forget about war.
If i had things my way, parents would play bubbles with their kids.
If i had things my way, we need not hurt.
If i had things my way, we need not resent.
If i had things my way, we'd be contented.
If i had things my way, no one has to cry alone.
If i had things my way, we'd make the best of each moment.
If i had things my way, there won't be anyone suffering inferiority complex.
If i had things my way, we'll forget about the confusion and void.
If i had things my way...
but i don't and neither do you and we're gonna be happy anyway. so let's make the best of what we have today, tomorrow and always.
by Fiction Plane
The old man's been stealing
She's holding her grievance for a hundred-odd years
We all keep believing
That history repeats itself year after year
All I fear's that the future is worse
We have to give in to the hundred-year curse
Sweat in the sun like we're diggin' a grave
Dig deep enough and our fortune we'll save
"If only, if only," the woodpecker sighs,
"The bark on the trees was as soft as the skies,"
As the wolf waits below, hungry and lonely
He cries to the moon, "If only, if only."
Chasin' the skirt of a beautiful wife
You make mistakes and it's my back that breaks
And forever my past steals my life
To submission I'm beat but there's hope beneath these feet
Blisters and blood and the sun makes you blind
You don't let it eat 'til it can't help but be kind
'Cause you know what's important with your back to the wall
You can break metal chains when your friends don't let you fall
"If only, if only," the woodpecker sighs,
"The bark on the trees was as soft as the skies,"
As the wolf waits below, hungry and lonely
He cries to the moon, "If only, if only."
I'm a sword but I find myself blunt
And that is no use when I'm fighting my history,
Fighting my history
I have no blade, I'm more like a feather
That is no use when I'm fighting my history,
Fighting my history
I have no blade, I'm more like a feather
But I can't fly away when I'm fighting myself
"If only, if only," the woodpecker sighs,
"The bark on the trees was as soft as the skies,"
As the wolf waits below, hungry and lonely
He cries to the moon, "If only, if only."
"If only, if only," the woodpecker sighs,
"The bark on the trees was as soft as the skies,"
As the wolf waits below, hungry and lonely
He cries to the moon, "If only, if only."
If i had things my way, my loved ones would speak their minds.
If i had things my way, people would love the rain and walk in it.
If i had things my way, they won't sit with depression in the corner.
If i had things my way, i don't have to tell people how much i care yet they'll know with such conviction.
If i had things my way, smiles won't ever have to be faked.
If i had things my way, we'd see past materialistic items and non- lasting happiness.
If i had things my way, we'll forget about war.
If i had things my way, parents would play bubbles with their kids.
If i had things my way, we need not hurt.
If i had things my way, we need not resent.
If i had things my way, we'd be contented.
If i had things my way, no one has to cry alone.
If i had things my way, we'd make the best of each moment.
If i had things my way, there won't be anyone suffering inferiority complex.
If i had things my way, we'll forget about the confusion and void.
If i had things my way...
but i don't and neither do you and we're gonna be happy anyway. so let's make the best of what we have today, tomorrow and always.
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
O Words.
There's gotta be a balance. But how do we achieve that balance-- which is probably different for each individual? It is funny how we can have so much to say at one moment, and not want to say anything at the other. And not saying things we meant to say, but wasting words on things beside the point. Or sometimes, being too stingy with words and not wanting at all to say anything (unnecessary or not) in fear.
Or sometimes, feeling there isn't a need for words at all... but at times, feeling that all you ever needed to hear to keep you going was that certain string of words.
Are words really that important? Are words really not important?
O Words,
played me the fool thee hath.
Why thou? Keepeth thee flesh yearning?
Thee, that hath turned upon mortal man,
in thy envy,
and fleeing, thou hath
pulled so-- hard,
on these heart strings of purity?
O Words,
I do detest thee,
In fact, defied thee i hath,
to little avail.
Thee that so tempt one,
to pursue after,
and to willingly be led,
into thy dark shed of
shadows of doubt.
O Words,
should thou be of non- existence,
this heart would indulge in belief,
this soul in consolation.
But thou that doth so exist,
and art thus real,
O Words,
Make mortal man wonder,
doth make mortal man desire,
to feel thee-- if even just,
breezing past
these ears, hungry for affirmation.
Well, just trying out Archaic English;) haha.
Or sometimes, feeling there isn't a need for words at all... but at times, feeling that all you ever needed to hear to keep you going was that certain string of words.
Are words really that important? Are words really not important?
O Words,
played me the fool thee hath.
Why thou? Keepeth thee flesh yearning?
Thee, that hath turned upon mortal man,
in thy envy,
and fleeing, thou hath
pulled so-- hard,
on these heart strings of purity?
O Words,
I do detest thee,
In fact, defied thee i hath,
to little avail.
Thee that so tempt one,
to pursue after,
and to willingly be led,
into thy dark shed of
shadows of doubt.
O Words,
should thou be of non- existence,
this heart would indulge in belief,
this soul in consolation.
But thou that doth so exist,
and art thus real,
O Words,
Make mortal man wonder,
doth make mortal man desire,
to feel thee-- if even just,
breezing past
these ears, hungry for affirmation.
Well, just trying out Archaic English;) haha.
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